Bummed Again

I don't know , you guys... I am bummed again. I slept really late after bringing Rick to the airport early this morning, and couldn't get it together to get everyone moving to go to church. We attend a very large church, so we are going out there in a bit to have a burger or something. The elders were going to have a little prayer with me this afternoon. I feel very selfish, not getting my children out the door on time, to attend the service. No attempts to make me feel better are needed, thanks anyway. I feel bad. Yesterday has got me down also. I didn't do too much at all. We went for bike rides and Rick did a bunch around the house, but i am still in a fog. This is so hard, friends. I can't even imagine having to deal with this if I had to work and support myself going through this. God is very , very good to me, but i am still pretty blue.
On a Happier note I am enjoying a lovely cup of coffee. It's delish.
Let me remind myself, God Has Got it. I think I may walk around repeating this to myself. i am sorry to unload.
That neupoge n that I'm on is interesting. I took it a long time ago hen I was first diagnosed in 2001 and had no problems with it. Maybe because I'm 7 yrsolder now, but it really made me feel weird. It can cause bone pain, nd boy did my back feel so strage he last few days. it stimuulaes the bone marrow growth. Nothing a few Tylenol can't handle though.
My coffee is cold . Got to do a heatp. I always do that, never finish my cup before it goes cool.
For those of you that don't know, Rick and I are planning a trip to Israel in late Oct. with our Church. We will be gone for 12 days and I am so looking forward to it. i like to go to the libray and get books and things to help me focus on that goal. I know that being there won't bring me any closer to Jesus, but it is going to be so cool to be there. I had a great trip by myself[no husband or children] 1 1/2 yrs. ago to italy which really turned out to be like a pilgrimage. I went with a good friend and stayed at her mother's home. I planne on seeing a lot of art and artifact and basically being a tourist. (I did look like a serios tourist), but God showed me a lot of cool things. One thing I will never forget was the catacombs of the earlyChristians in Rome. i keep thinking that these were the people that Paul wrotehis letter to in th Bible. It was amazing to see where they wereburied, but also where they worshipped almost 2000 yrs ago. I have a lot of pics. on my computer of my trip but I didn't take to many there. it felt weird taking pictures of places like that, plus I don't think they allowed it, so, there you go.
Keep reminding me of my trip if I sound blue. It's a blessing from the Lord for Rick and I to go together. I guess i will fit right in if I have no hair, i'll have a scarf on my head. hey, also, let me know if anyone wants something. I want to bring back a copper coffee pot from the Bedouin Tent hop in Jerusalem. If anyone has been before, let me know what you did. i think we have one free day to urselves. The rest of the trip is planned. Ok, i feel better now. If I get any good pics today I will post them later.
love,
joann