Sarah and Miss Della's ferret, Bandit. I promise you, I brushed her hair that morning!
My feet, My blanket and My book. Relaxing at chemo.
My nurse du Jour, she's a sweetie!
Greetings,
I'm bored...
Don't tell Rick, but I was so bored that I went to Target, shopping. This is how my day went, if you are interested. It's soooo thrilling!
I went to chemo this morning at 7. ( I like it quiet and I get a lot of attention).
Got home about 9 and two kids (Charlie and Sarah were at activities), so it was just Jimmy and I. I wanted to lay down, but we decided to go for a smoothie at the beach. I am really enjoying just being with him. He's pretty funny. Then we came home and I felt a bit blecchh, so I watched a bit of tv and it is so horrible. I hate...'scuse me.. dislike tv, so I went on my computer for an hour. Then we had a little bit to eat and went to Target. Very exciting day.
Well, I have been dreading the phone call for my PET scan appt. If you have never been through this experience, you may not understand the apprehension. I didn't want to get the phone call. I was secretly hoping my Dr. would forget and I could go on my trip to MA. next week, then come back after and do it in a week or so, but no. So I got the phone call in Target and made the appt for Mon at 8:30, then immediately got bummed, so I picked out some more clothes.
I thought of my post yesterday and felt like a hypocrite. I said to myself "practice what you preach, Joann!" I thought of my favorite verse in Isaiah 41 (look to right). Well, I guess I would appreciate some prayers for a clear mind, strong and solid in the Lord, Clear PET scan results and the smarts to read my own entries and remember that the Lord is at my right hand.
I have always been a frightened person. Afraid of the dark and monsters, afraid of what other people think of me, afraid that I don't measure up to what I should be, afraid of not being a good Mom and wife and afraid of cancer. Well, I am tired of that. It's not the treatment that wears me out, it's the fear and the worry. I so want to be over that. Soooo sick of it! Lame!
When I concentrate, I know I have nothing to fear, my future is secure, my debt is paid. I'm not even sick, for Pete's sake. Boy, I am rambling. Well, i am going to read that devotional again and apply it to my life, darn it. I hope that you don't take my worry as doubt. I hope maybe that you guys who read this can also apply the truths that I share from my devotionals to your life. Life ain't easy, and everyone has different worries and trials. I try not to compare my situation or trials to other peoples. I don't think anyone should. Am I making any sense? Prolly not.
Let's see if I can sum this up...
My situation is difficult, and I struggle everyday, and I need to read God's words and promises many times, daily. I think it's important to share our struggles, and be honest about them, because God will use those situations to help others. My prayer is that God will use me. I want so much to do something for Him. Share hope and His truths, and I feel bad when I get discouraged, but I think he can also use that weakness.
Can you tell I'm sort of bored by the way I just keep going on and on?
Bottom line..
God's good, I'm working on trusting Him and I hope through my trial God will use me to help others to trust him also.
Got to go. My kiddos are in the potato chips and cookies. Love you guys,
Joann
Here's a picture Sarah just made for me. His name is Spike.
PS. The minor prophets are a little hard for me to grasp right now so I am trying to study Isaiah (love that guy), and I heard a sermon on Isaiah 45. I will put a link here, read it if you can. I sometimes think of myself as the afflicted city, Satan is the blacksmith who forges the weapons, but God created the blacksmith and can squash him. I hope you can read it and draw something from it.
Bye again
PS I miss your comments Jinji
Great pics! I especially love Sarah's "Spike".
ReplyDeleteHope Ricky found his burr grinder (?!?).
How did you get the Bible on your iPod? Do you know if it will go on the iPhone?
In our family Bible study, we are doing the book of John. My favorite chapter (in the whole Bible) is 14. I love how Jesus begins and ends with talking about peace. He SO doesn't want His children to be anxious or afraid. I know how much I hate to see my own kids when they are anxious or afraid of something.
BTW, Tania, Isabella and the nephews are coming over Saturday afternoon. If you guys are free, we'd love to have you (I know it sounds silly to drive all the way to Orlando to see them when they are there in Melbourne...)
Love to you all!
Diana
Joann,
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to your insecurities. I know I have recieved bad news...or at times even the "fear" of bad news possibly coming can ruin my whole day! Isnt it awful to feel that icky feeling! I appreciate your open, sincere rambling honesty:) It's why I read your blog:)
I wish you lived closer so we could go for coffee! Your a dear person...just wanted you to know that!!!!
Heather in Mich
Good Morning Child of Our King...There has not been a solitary day, have you NOT pranced and paraded through my SONshine and smiles-- while tending
ReplyDeleteG-ds glorious gardens. All my bird houses are filed with beautiful blue birds and bright yellow finches..Fledglings not quite ready to fly, as busy parents are forging food for their young. The Lords lawn is reminiscent of a rainbow that exploded and landed on my little corner of G-ds earth. 110 flats planted...and as I toil enjoying this labor of love, kneeling, being seranaded by creeking oak trees as their silhouettes swing in the Lake Michigan breeze, I and Jesus, talk about YOU. As HE has whispered in my ear, "Jinji, fear is the abscence of FAith".....It is the dilemma of the human conditon. I-- through the 18 surgeries that Jesus brought me through, would write scriptures on the bottom of my feet...before they wheeled me into the sterile cold iciness --gaudy overhead lights droning --chattering nurses--still, within the confines of this strangling moment, I knew that I knew that I knew...this is why HE died...In that cup, at the Garden of Gethsemane, where I have knelt and entered His Courts, THIS THIS THIS WAS IN HIS CUP.... The iniquities of our fallen nature, disease, anger, all of it. As HE asked, Father, let this cup pass from me.....HE knew...that HE would take all of US upon HIM. WE were HIS passion. See, satan can deliver any news he wants to, but WE have read the back of the book, and we know our beautiful sandle footed Saviour has won. We are clothed with HIS righteousness--bathed with the balm of Gilead, and we dwell in the Shadow of HIS MERCY. This has brought me a motely of medicinal moments:
"I have called you by name, YOU ARE MINE...When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. For I am the LORD YOUR
G-D, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL YOUR SAVIOUR"...ISAIAH 43
If you've never read, "90 minutes in Heaven'----try to get your talons on it...I wanted G-d to do like HE had for Moses, and just TAKE ME UP...AFTER I finished that book, True Story...and brilliant...
"Please, Sweet Saviour, today, for my friend Joann, cover her with Your perfect peace, Deliver her from the snares of YOUR advesary, make Your glory engulf her in a flood of grace. May she be exhalted through Your touch and transcend the tenabrous clouds that surround her. May Joann touch the hem of YOUR garment...To the Father I pray, in the name of Your SON JESUS CHRIST, with the Holy Spirit that keeps us, until Your return, AMEN-----"
In thoughts, with hope, xoxo Jinji
love the bottom line, sounds like you (i think).
ReplyDeletei like jinji...
where's betty been? i'm missing her support for u!
mamahouse